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T O P I C R E V I E WRandallONEShe's always sighing.Sometimes a witch doesn't have to open her mouth to tell you how she feels. Call it a talent. A girl who's always rolling her eyes or sighing like she's too good for the room probably thinks she's too good for you, too.TWOShe doesn't like your friends.Friends beat out a trophy girlfriend any day. If she thinks your friends are losers and doesn't want you to spend time with them, or if she treats them with disrespect, show her the door.THREEShe's always making you foot the bill.Be weary of any woman who expects you to pay her way. You'll go bankrupt before you make a woman like that happy.FOURShe loves to scrutinize your appearance.A woman who complains about how a man dresses considers him an accessory. If she's telling you what to wear, she's more concerned with how she looks standing next to you.FIVEShe doesn't get along with her own family.A girl who can't stand her own parents might as well start kicking puppies on the street. If she can't at least pretend to get along with them, she's certainly not going to make an effort with you.SIXShe can't take a joke.A witch generally takes her bitchiness very seriously. She doesn't have time to laugh (it might smear her makeup).SEVENShe always has to be in controlYou know you're in the company of a witch if she turns off the football game you're watching so she can catch the last five minutes of Oprah.EIGHTShe forgot your birthday.She never called you on your birthday, but she has reminded you repeatedly when hers is. She even gave you a list of gift ideas.NINEShe's mean to store clerks.She treats service people like servants, which is how she'll eventually start treating you.TENShe owns a T-shirt with the word B-I-T-C-H embossed in glittery letters on the front and back.Need we say more?Copyright 2004 Fun Online Corporation.------------------"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca ClarkjuniperbSSShew, I narrowly escaped being on that list juniperb ------------------If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James HerriotsilverbellsThat's a sick list, maybe the girl being described is just very demanding and wants things her own way BUT she doesn't demand more than she is willing to give but you don't know that because you don't try to see what lies beneath some of her actions.And just wait a damn minute-what ever happened to chivalry. Men ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY, that my dear is part of the priviledge of being a man, and I dare say most of them would subconciously feel less manly if they didn't, and start some stupid overcompensation that makes everybody miserable. That problem is easily solved by allowing them their rights, the right to pay. YeSSSSSSSS!P.S. OF course, women should always have their own money.P.P.S. Notice, the serpent "S"'s of wisdom. trillianUmmm. I don't think men should always pay. In fact, I prefer splitting things most of the time. To me, it's a little old-fashioned to think men should pay for dates, etc. It's modern times, I have my own job, make my own money, and make my own decisions. I would prefer not to be perceived as obligated to a man I may or may not want to see again.And if their manhood is threatened by that...well, it deserves to be. Chivalry? Sure, open a door for me. But appreicate me for the intelligent independent woman that I am. Rather than needing a man, financially or otherwise, I have chosen a man to be my companion. Not my financier.proxiemeAnd then you have me -no longer w/ my own (independent) source of income.That situation'll probably stay the same for a bit longer (I'm almost in my 8th month of pregnancy & in an area surrounding a Military base with ZERO job prospects).I feel so...dependant...and...gah...So...much...trust...involved...*twitch*Oh, well - maybe the fact that I feel so titchy about that state of affairs is a signal that it's something that I should experience, at least for a while.aquaspryt69I have a shirt that say "Super ***** " on it.Go figure!pixelpixieThat's a really good attitude, prox, stay with the areas that make you cringe, to experience them and work on them....I know, I hate being dependent too. I am making almost half what my husband brings in.... and although it is fulfilling in other ways, and it isn't THAT bad a wage, I know others who have far less, so I shouldn't complain.. but man, I am always looking for ways to actively make more.. new ventures, selling something creative I have done.. whatever... I am uncomfortable knowing I have essentially nothing if I were alone. Doen't feel like the strong independent woman I think I feel inside. *sigh*trillianYou know, after signing off and thinking about my earlier post on this subject, I felt kinda badly. I didn't mean to sound so inflexible.There are unique situations for every couple. I only meant that I don't think it's necessary for a man to foot all the bills while dating. It's not fair, and I don't expect it. Prox and Pixel, you two are married and that can change everything. You're making money decisions as a unit, not as individuals getting to know each other. For those of us who are so independent (like I know you both are), it's hard to depend on a man to supply the money of the house. But circumstances change...Prox, I know I mentioned this to you once before but I think you should pursue some form of writing...I get such a vibe from you. I know it's something pixel hopes to pursue too... to you lovely ladies...pixelpixie right back....silverbellsI said nothing about being dependant - for single women (dating).I do think that women should offer and pay sometimes and as a matter of fact I usually offer especially on the first date, because I too would hate for a man to think that I am obligated to to him or that I am some sort of free-loader. But perhaps it is better to know that someone thinks that you are obligated to them because they pay for outings.And of course again; women should have their own money - trust me I am made aware of that almost every day.silverbellsSo you guys don't think that men should pay just as a matter of course, not because you are a helpless women who needs rescuing?proxiemeAw, naw - I wasn't commenting on any specific comment, I was just running a bit at the mouth while contemplating my own situation.*twitch*Which I'm fine with.Really.When I was single, I'd always assume that I was paying my bit and act accordingly...maybe it's the Virginian in me, though - if it was a first date-date and the guy didn't offer, there probably wouldn't be a second. It's just a matter of being a gentleman (hey, we're the ones that get to give birth, and with little to no difficulty guys can pee standing up - a little bit of chivalry isn't too much to ask in return ).Besides, I was always kinda dense with relationship stuff. Unless they offered to pay, I usually didn't realize that they had anything beyond friendship in mind.But when my husband and I were dating (for the like 3 1/2 mo. we did ) one or the other of us would usually foot the bill; whoever had the cash at the time would pay.That seems fair to me, although it has led to some goofy moments since we've gotten married. We have a single joint account with chequecards that both link into it, and one or the other of us will whip out our card and say, "Oh, I've got th...oh," and then we'll both giggle and grin.Trillian - Gah, but I get so embarrassed when people comment on my writing.I don't know how I'd cope with an editor.It's good to see you around, though, Tril -you, too, silverbells (although perhaps you've been here and I've just missed you).pixelpixieI'm with Proxie... I was just running my mouth, not in response to one comment or anything.. just understanding and lamenting how utterly dependent I have become... I consider you guys my friends, or at the very least, a safe place to voice my concerns and bounce them off others, and maybe share a few commonalities.. or many! 'Twas all I was doing.trillianYou know what Prox? Working with an editor can be tough--a humbling experience. But it can also spark great growth, if you have a good editor. I've been working on my first novel...got the first draft done, gave it to some friends to read, they loved it, cried at the end, etc. Well, after a couple of professional rejections that encouraged me to go back and rework some aspects of the book, and eating a little humble pie I realized those critiques were right, and now have a clearer vision of what needs to be done to make the book stronger. If you want to do it Prox, you can and will do it. Nothing will stop you. And like I said, I just get a vibe from you, it's not just that you express yourself so well, there's something else, that I can't define.Now, about men and money. Don't get me wrong, I can be complimented by a man who wants to pay for things. But...I don't think it's fair to expect it, and for me at least, it's important to share the financial load. If he buys dinner, I'll buy breakfast. When I was a bit younger and my dates and I never had much money, going dutch was never an issue, it's just what we did. I liked the equal ground it kept us on.A few months ago I was buying some new clothes and the two sales girls were chatting with me a bit, remarking on the sales and how much they loved buying new clothes. One of the girls sighed, said "I wish I could buy lots of new clothes. I need a rich man." I smiled, said "No honey, go out and make your own money, buy your own clothes, and get yourself a boy-toy." Oh, I was joking with her, but that mentality does bother me a bit, that one must rely on a man to provide. But to each her own. Don't be offended, silverbells. silverbellsNo, no, no I wasn't offended, I just figured that my comment was a bit misunderstood (especially since I was being a little ironic and such)and needed clarifying.I'm not exactly sure about where I solidly stand on the issue (except that women should have their own money) because I had an ex-boyfriend who was soooooo cheap, MY GOD. For the love of pete this guy-sometimes I would even have to chip in to buy his negative escapism supplies- and I don't even participate in that.Anyway and needless to say, I usually had to pay for myself and sometimes for him and after a while it just made me so disgusted but he was a really bad boyfriend most of the time too so I don't know if that weighs in and the non-paying just put me over the edge. Perhaps I wouldn't have a problem going dutch a lot if the guy was rich but then I would wonder why he isn't paying if he has all of that money and if he was cheap or didn't like me or something. But I suppose that would depend on his personality....OH the thoughts are swirling, MY LIBRA MIND!!!!!!!!------------------"Get some Love in your groove, just get hip to Forgive"-Michael FrankssilverbellsTrillian! Proxie, I've been around, just not as much, it is nice to see you too.trillianAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....irony, silverbells! I getcha now! Some things are just lost in text sometimes...You know, I've thought about this a bit over the past day or two. 'Cause I suppose there is a part of me that might enjoy the attentions of a man who wanted to lavish me with gifts and expensive dinners etc. But I've never dated a monetarily really wealthy man. Yet. No absolutes in life, right?Love ya, silverbells.
She's always sighing.
Sometimes a witch doesn't have to open her mouth to tell you how she feels. Call it a talent. A girl who's always rolling her eyes or sighing like she's too good for the room probably thinks she's too good for you, too.
TWO
She doesn't like your friends.
Friends beat out a trophy girlfriend any day. If she thinks your friends are losers and doesn't want you to spend time with them, or if she treats them with disrespect, show her the door.
THREE
She's always making you foot the bill.
Be weary of any woman who expects you to pay her way. You'll go bankrupt before you make a woman like that happy.
FOUR
She loves to scrutinize your appearance.
A woman who complains about how a man dresses considers him an accessory. If she's telling you what to wear, she's more concerned with how she looks standing next to you.
FIVE
She doesn't get along with her own family.
A girl who can't stand her own parents might as well start kicking puppies on the street. If she can't at least pretend to get along with them, she's certainly not going to make an effort with you.
SIX
She can't take a joke.
A witch generally takes her bitchiness very seriously. She doesn't have time to laugh (it might smear her makeup).
SEVEN
She always has to be in control
You know you're in the company of a witch if she turns off the football game you're watching so she can catch the last five minutes of Oprah.
EIGHT
She forgot your birthday.
She never called you on your birthday, but she has reminded you repeatedly when hers is. She even gave you a list of gift ideas.
NINE
She's mean to store clerks.
She treats service people like servants, which is how she'll eventually start treating you.
TEN
She owns a T-shirt with the word B-I-T-C-H embossed in glittery letters on the front and back.
Need we say more?
Copyright 2004 Fun Online Corporation.
------------------"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark
juniperb
------------------If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot
And just wait a damn minute-what ever happened to chivalry. Men ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY, that my dear is part of the priviledge of being a man, and I dare say most of them would subconciously feel less manly if they didn't, and start some stupid overcompensation that makes everybody miserable. That problem is easily solved by allowing them their rights, the right to pay. YeSSSSSSSS!
P.S. OF course, women should always have their own money.P.P.S. Notice, the serpent "S"'s of wisdom.
And if their manhood is threatened by that...well, it deserves to be.
Chivalry? Sure, open a door for me. But appreicate me for the intelligent independent woman that I am. Rather than needing a man, financially or otherwise, I have chosen a man to be my companion. Not my financier.
So...much...trust...involved...*twitch*
Oh, well - maybe the fact that I feel so titchy about that state of affairs is a signal that it's something that I should experience, at least for a while.
Go figure!
I know, I hate being dependent too. I am making almost half what my husband brings in.... and although it is fulfilling in other ways, and it isn't THAT bad a wage, I know others who have far less, so I shouldn't complain.. but man, I am always looking for ways to actively make more.. new ventures, selling something creative I have done.. whatever... I am uncomfortable knowing I have essentially nothing if I were alone. Doen't feel like the strong independent woman I think I feel inside. *sigh*
There are unique situations for every couple. I only meant that I don't think it's necessary for a man to foot all the bills while dating. It's not fair, and I don't expect it.
Prox and Pixel, you two are married and that can change everything. You're making money decisions as a unit, not as individuals getting to know each other. For those of us who are so independent (like I know you both are), it's hard to depend on a man to supply the money of the house. But circumstances change...
Prox, I know I mentioned this to you once before but I think you should pursue some form of writing...I get such a vibe from you. I know it's something pixel hopes to pursue too...
to you lovely ladies...
When I was single, I'd always assume that I was paying my bit and act accordingly...maybe it's the Virginian in me, though - if it was a first date-date and the guy didn't offer, there probably wouldn't be a second. It's just a matter of being a gentleman (hey, we're the ones that get to give birth, and with little to no difficulty guys can pee standing up - a little bit of chivalry isn't too much to ask in return ).Besides, I was always kinda dense with relationship stuff. Unless they offered to pay, I usually didn't realize that they had anything beyond friendship in mind.But when my husband and I were dating (for the like 3 1/2 mo. we did ) one or the other of us would usually foot the bill; whoever had the cash at the time would pay.That seems fair to me, although it has led to some goofy moments since we've gotten married. We have a single joint account with chequecards that both link into it, and one or the other of us will whip out our card and say, "Oh, I've got th...oh," and then we'll both giggle and grin.
Trillian - Gah, but I get so embarrassed when people comment on my writing.I don't know how I'd cope with an editor.It's good to see you around, though, Tril -you, too, silverbells (although perhaps you've been here and I've just missed you).
I've been working on my first novel...got the first draft done, gave it to some friends to read, they loved it, cried at the end, etc. Well, after a couple of professional rejections that encouraged me to go back and rework some aspects of the book, and eating a little humble pie I realized those critiques were right, and now have a clearer vision of what needs to be done to make the book stronger.
If you want to do it Prox, you can and will do it. Nothing will stop you. And like I said, I just get a vibe from you, it's not just that you express yourself so well, there's something else, that I can't define.
Now, about men and money. Don't get me wrong, I can be complimented by a man who wants to pay for things. But...I don't think it's fair to expect it, and for me at least, it's important to share the financial load. If he buys dinner, I'll buy breakfast. When I was a bit younger and my dates and I never had much money, going dutch was never an issue, it's just what we did. I liked the equal ground it kept us on.
A few months ago I was buying some new clothes and the two sales girls were chatting with me a bit, remarking on the sales and how much they loved buying new clothes. One of the girls sighed, said "I wish I could buy lots of new clothes. I need a rich man." I smiled, said "No honey, go out and make your own money, buy your own clothes, and get yourself a boy-toy." Oh, I was joking with her, but that mentality does bother me a bit, that one must rely on a man to provide.
But to each her own. Don't be offended, silverbells.
I'm not exactly sure about where I solidly stand on the issue (except that women should have their own money) because I had an ex-boyfriend who was soooooo cheap, MY GOD. For the love of pete this guy-sometimes I would even have to chip in to buy his negative escapism supplies- and I don't even participate in that.Anyway and needless to say, I usually had to pay for myself and sometimes for him and after a while it just made me so disgusted but he was a really bad boyfriend most of the time too so I don't know if that weighs in and the non-paying just put me over the edge. Perhaps I wouldn't have a problem going dutch a lot if the guy was rich but then I would wonder why he isn't paying if he has all of that money and if he was cheap or didn't like me or something. But I suppose that would depend on his personality....OH the thoughts are swirling, MY LIBRA MIND!!!!!!!!
------------------"Get some Love in your groove, just get hip to Forgive"-Michael Franks
You know, I've thought about this a bit over the past day or two. 'Cause I suppose there is a part of me that might enjoy the attentions of a man who wanted to lavish me with gifts and expensive dinners etc. But I've never dated a monetarily really wealthy man. Yet.
No absolutes in life, right?
Love ya, silverbells.
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